Buy Bad Code Offsets Today!

It is a tradition on the internet that the Ministry of Truth and the Ministry of Love are run by different people.
So, here is yours truly with a complaint.

How do you actually get a competent, but civilised, non-arrogant, ordinary, non-insider, non-son-of-a-bitch to write code with?

I’ve emailed several programmers, small and big, leaders in open source, dealers in closed source, peddlers and meddlers in politics and hacking, friends, small folk with hearts, big folks with egos and without hearts, and even tried speaking to cute animals.

But no one seems to be interested in doing a project with me.
No, this is not your regular sissy complaint.
No, I am not a luser.
If anything, if you are feeling great objection to what you’re reading, you’re the PEBKAC, not me.
My only fault was I thought flame wars are about principles.
I found out much later they are about arrogant, if peaceful, b_stards quarrelling away like the soldiers of the Army of Anubis.

So, where do you get someone ordinary to write an ordinary program to make ordinary money?
Yeah, they always keep saying that a man is known by the company he keeps. I am blown by the company I’ve kept. Blown apart, in fact.
(phew! big load off my chest!)

Yeah, so where do you get plain ordinary simple straight programmers, the POJOs that actually get code written and you know, make customers happy and go to the next project, dont try to ahem save the world, and Greater Things ™.

You like to post on the same topics over and over.
Please re-post where decent normal people coordinate over programs.

And where you are not forced to work under highly illustrious mentors who don’t give a shit what you think about anything.

Really, when all advertised methods don’t work over 3 years, you wonder what the whole thing is about? Truman show or something?

Yeah, I know you have my IP address.

Ditto to Rick’s sentiments.

Jeff, it’s time you got a real job.

It’s funny that you mention jQuery as a partner against bad code, you obviously haven’t seen this line from their UI toolkit:

if(!((l-d x1 && x1 r+d && t-d y1 && y1 b+d) || (l-d x1 && x1 r+d && t-d y2 && y2 b+d) || (l-d x2 && x2 r+d && t-d y1 && y1 b+d) || (l-d x2 && x2 r+d && t-d y2 && y2 b+d))) {

It’s from near the end of http://jquery-ui.googlecode.com/svn/tags/1.7.2/ui/ui.draggable.js

"“It is, quite literally, the least you could do.”

No, lierally the least I could do is nothing. Which seems about right."

hah… can’t stop laughing. xD

Wow.

I mean, wow.

Perhaps I don’t get the joke?

Clearly Jeff is no longer a programmer, but has joined the ranks of internet hucksters. I hope his advertisers read this blog to determine if they’re getting their money’s worth.

You know, I really thought this was funny when I read the title. I’m a little disappointed that there was some truth to it. Although I agree in principle about donating to open source projects, why wouldn’t I just donate directly to a project I cared about? Or even more useful, offer a cash prize for the programmer that fixes a bug or adds a feature I want? What is being added to the process by adding a layer?

Sorry, but this just doesn’t seem like the quality Jeff Atwood I’ve followed for years.

Micheil, why do you think they need the money? :slight_smile:

Shouldn’t they be selling offsets in packages of powers of two? Why sell 100 offsets when they could be selling 128? I won’t pay for 1000, but I might be convinced to buy 1024.

Are you sure the money goes to open source projects? Or does it go to paying the crack dealer, cos you guys seem to be smoking some serious stuff recently.

Do the offsets work against your new found heinous sin of extra spaces at the end of lines?

the money you spend on Bad Code Offsets really does offset bad code!

No it doesn’t. Because I’m not a retard and I don’t spend my money on “offsets” of any kind.

Just wondering. Why are you using a set containing the empty set as logo?

@Micheil: This snippet seems to be a minified version of the code. I am pretty sure that it wasn’t coded like that.

Reminds me of a April fools website…

Derek

Reminds me of an April Fools Day joke website…

Derek

Maybe you could donate something to me so I don’t write any bad code. Like $ 10000 in a monthly basis would suffice.

It seems that you have become like these rich upper-class women who has no time to do something useful, instead they do some sort of charitys to fill up their time and pretend they do something useful.
Heh, kind of amusing!! You should go back to your code-monkey mindstate!!!

Hilarious. Best idea ever to get geeks sponsor open source.

If this stupid system was ever to take hold I’d rather the money is donated to schemes that would better train coders to be developers.

But first, you must be able to define what is ‘quality’ code. Even if you could, measuring by the line is silly. Some lines of code are more critical than others.

Irony?

—source—
Yes, this is partly tongue in cheek, but we aren’t just doing it for the lulz.
—/source—

Gimme an R!

Lulz, memes are like dead jokes, except funnier because everyone repeats them all the time.