Great presentation! So much so, I think everybody forgot this line early in the post:
"What advice should I give other people based on my own life experiences? The short answer is that I wouldn’t. "
WTF!!! I am so glad many of my relatives, peers, etc. were not so polite! Of course, you go on to give software/business advice, so thank you!
“There are too many paths forward in life…”
… And depending on the which part of life, most lead to sadness, a few are OK, but usually one way - doing as many things right as possible - is the best. So dear reader you should do that, even if it sounds crazy, because, even if you deny it to yourself, you do want to be happy and successful, and not sucking will get your there!
Sure I received lots of bad advice; but I received many ideas I wouldn’t have thought of. By being a universal skeptic and doing my research and talking to others, I could verify the most reasonable sounding advice. And suprisingly, it’s usually universal - what’s right works for everybody, crazy or not.
Now I notice you spare us a lot of other life advice, outside of programming. Of course you are an IT blogger. But not I … So here goes! If any readers are under 30, you still have hope of adopting some of these changes which have made my life 700% better than the average Joe’s life; if you are over, you will probably, unfortuantely, dismiss anything here with which you don’t already agree.
Follow Christ as a convinced Catholic. Including what the RCC teaches about S*X. Yes, I know, you’re not supposed to do that. You are supposed to be skeptical of anything religious-read, ignore it. I was, and this is all that held up. Atheism didn’t. How about being skeptical as well, of the idiots who tell us to be skeptical of the church? Plus you won’t be afraid of Death once you grok Catholicism. Wow.
Be nicer to your wife than you are to your friends, job, and golf game.
“Stop at two kids and get snipped” HUGE JOKE. Don’t do that. You’re supposed to but don’t. Have as many as you d*mn well please. Yes they’re hard but so is going to work, but like a job, the payback is better if you do it right. Even more so than the pie chart here:
http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/2011/10/on-parenthood.html
But that gives you a start.
Skeptically accept the best parenting shortcuts. Dr. Sears is great for ideas to get your baby asleep in the first place, but when they don’t work, it’s perfectly OK to let a changed, warm, healthy, fed baby cry itself to sleep. And 100s more like it (google dr ray guarendi). Caring about your own effort/stress AND caring about the kids is a huge part of reducing the ‘this sucks’ factor of kids, and leveraging the joy. You’re not going to make them psychos. Unless you try to be a friend, instead of a parent.
Stay in shape. I’ve been on a diet the last 15 years. TOTALLY worth it. You should lift weights 3x+ a week, go on and off cardio 0-2x/week, you can never get TOO strong. You’ll learn to enjoy it more than TV. And you will be as healthy as a 30 year old when you’re 70 and much more likely to die suddenly at 90 instead of wilting in a nursing home from age 75-85.
Movies only,, or video games and surfing. Broadcast TV spends millions to enslave and addict you to itself and the advertiser’s products. Yes, the ads, and the entire tenor of every show is designed to do this, and it works for you 100% as well is the dumbhead down the street. You’re fooling yourself with pride if you disagree. Cut back, cancel cable/dish, and in a year, it will be as if you got new glasses when you’re at a freinds house watching - the spin and manipulation will jump off the screen, and piss you off. Plus you will be richer, happier, and healthier for the couch time and money saved.
Go to college for a technical career. Sure, the art/music/psych/lit degree is fun & cool for 4 years. Searching for a decent paying job for 40 years sucks. Law, IT, Medical, if you’re reading this blog you can handle it. If you’re not married yet, go back!
There are many more. You want to know them. And I want to know yours! Some of these I mentioned took 1000s of hours of talking/surfing/experiencing to discover amoungst the noise. Your journey will be no exception; just keep listing to advice and gleaning it for new ideas. You can’t think of everything!