Jeff, you already are an example like Aaron and we need more of you in the world. You are honest, intelligent, caring, enthusiastic, supportive, positive, engaging. You’ve changed the world for the better. Don’t ragequit, not for us, but for yourself and the ones you love.
Jeff,
I am struggling to find the words I’d like to offer after reading that. It wrenches deep inside to think of others hurting enough to consider such ultimatums. Those of us who fight with depression and darkness share a common understanding of what a powerful foe it can be. Thank you for finding the strength to share.
Thank you,
Jeff
To boil depression leading to suicide down to the pithy phrase ‘ragequitting’ is highly insulting to the victims of depression and their families. You shame the memory of Aaron and undo his work. I suggest you take the post down. Ragequitting is what you do when you can’t compete with your peers, suicide is what you do when you see the pain of death as being less than the sum pain of living.
The view that clinical depression is within one’s power to treat is the minority view of literature. The reality is that sufferers of depression frequently enter a “depression-maintaing cognitive-affecting” cycle (Teasdale 1988). Initial genetic predisposition to depression tends to induce the evaluation of ones life events in worse terms leading to greater feelings of helplessness and powerlessness if left untreated. This forms a reciprocally reinforcing relationship between the depressed mood and negative cognitive processing. In Aaron’s case, he lost the ability to critically evaluate his own mood and to seek help when he really needed it.
The death of Aaron Swartz is a reminder of many things. You should have highlighted the need for increased awareness of treatment options available to men (who largely seek treatment less than women do) rather than painting Aaron as a coward.
I’m not going to join the herd tossing your salad when you fail to grok what depression is.
Thank you for the thoughtful article. I don’t have much to offer that hasn’t already been said in the comments, but you (Jeff) “get it”. More people need to have a view similar to yours - suicide is “giving up”, and every single person has the innate capacity to rise above.
Aaron’s story may be the saddest I have ever known. It is hard to bear. Sometimes you think you have the world figured out, and then…
The best non-biased analysis of Aaron’s case that I read was from Volokh:
The Criminal Charges Against Aaron Swartz (Part 1: The Law)
http://www.volokh.com/2013/01/14/aaron-swartz-charges/
The Criminal Charges Against Aaron Swartz (Part 2: Prosecutorial Discretion)
http://www.volokh.com/2013/01/16/the-criminal-charges-against-aaron-swartz-part-2-prosecutorial-discretion/
The “government” ended him. Period. And nobody commits suicide by hanging themselves so easily. There are other ways less painful to leave this world. The “hanging” style of suicide is the way of the government telling you “I owned him and I will do the same to you, if I have to”. Period. All the other stuff written before me is for kids to read.
Dammit, Jeff, if you dare become “An Hero”, I will walk my fat ass over to California (from Eastern Canada!) and kill you again with my own two hands!
What happened to Aaron is, well, it’s a reflection on the insanity that pervades modern government. This culture of fear and paranoia is the enemy of all man. Note that it’s never the cousin-&@#$ing creationist swine that hang themselves… As a non-US citizen, I’ve always held a very cynical view of the US Gov’t, and the moment I let my guard down, they go out of their way to remind me why I hated the system in the first place.
We must not let Aaron’s loss fade into obscurity. I agree with “D”, the government murdered him. They didn’t tie the noose but they most certainly painted the picture leading up to it. Sadly, tech pioneers go largely unnoticed outside of our geek cliques. He wasn’t some laudable diplomat, born with a silver spoon up his ass. He was just your everyday good-hearted genius, like so many of us, and thus he was dismissed by a system that favours profiteers over problem solvers. He represents everything that is wrong with the world today.
It was a relief to read your blog. I have had too many rage quits online. Including Stack Exchange, but fortunately I came back, thanks to the kindness of one person, who has pointed me to your blogs before. I stumbled upon this one though.
My husband suicided 10 years ago, when I was on chemo and desperately ill, leaving me with 3 young children. I have an incurable, disabling, life threatening illness (and I suffer physically most of the time). There’s not a month that will go by when I don’t feel like killing myself. The thing that stops me, is my children. I care more about their happiness than my misery.
In the past ten years, I have been dragged into court many times. People get greedy when someone dies. I also got dragged through the court by our Government. It was shocking. Ultimately it cost me half a million dollars, it would have cost the Government in excess of one million dollars (with all the associated costs to the case). I won my case… Yes, sometimes justice is served.
BUT this has left me a broken woman. I feel like a leper. My reputation is gone, I’ve been stigmatized… Although I won my case, the reasons (it was not criminal, it was civil but life shattering) for the case, I cannot even mention here, as people have been so savage and vitriolic and used it against me and my family. Much as my husband’s suicide has been used as a weapon to socially ostracize us at times.
I have starting learning programming in my mid 40s. I regularly despair that I will be a competent programmer before I die… as living with diffuse scleroderma, it’s always stressful and I’m mindful, I have this illness that is always trying to kill me. I’ve been hospitalised more than 100 times (most of these were for day infusions, so I didn’t stay overnight), but there were many ambulance tripe, surgery… I am often miserable, as my gut is damaged and doesn’t move, so I am living with the (almost daily) discomfort of having semi to fully impacted bowel and it is extremely depressing. That and my muscles have been affected on and off over the years by a severe polymyositis.
I say this, as I feel daily shame about who I am and feel like a worthless, lower rung member of humanity. It’s been gutting. The most disappointing thing has been the face of humanity my children and I have been exposed to being vulnerable. The bad experiences have left a foul taste in my mouth.
Funny, my husband’s family call me a murderer and blame me for his suicide… Yet I have been pushed to the far edges and who would be to blame if I was to suicide - well I think it would be me… And in spite of the garbage we inherited as a result of my husband’s suicide… I was left holding the baby (actually my muscles were too wasted to carry my children)… I am one of he most determined people I know. So within my misery of this past decade… I still stumble through each day and have these vague hopes in the back of my mind that it will improve, despite my despair.