If It Looks Corporate, Change It

Are you familar with happy talk?

This is a companion discussion topic for the original blog entry at: http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/2009/09/if-it-looks-corporate-change-it.html

That headphone hottie reminded me of our own website. Yeah, it does also contain a headphone hottie. All sites should have headphone hotties.


I guess the point is if someone takes the time to make a “professional” website, then maybe they also take the time to make “professional” product (software / hardware / bridges / skyscrapers).

It is however a testament to how easy one can create the perception of a larger company with such little effort though.

Here’s a thought. People don’t want to fork over money to fly-by-night operations. Of all people, you ought to know best about how quickly software becomes legacy.

What’s your alternative. “Click here for l33t tool5! We R da b0mb @ ur dataz.”

Does the same apply to a resume? Despite what many have told me, I’ve kept a portion of my resume written in the first-person to add a bit of flavor and make it stand out. Bad idea?

Wouldn’t it have once been considered unprofessional to pretend that a hired model was actually an employee?

I wonder if we’ve misundertood the purpose of communication in our business world. It is not to convey any real kind of idea. The purpose of communication is to bring about an outcome which brings forth advantage. If one is not engaging in business communcation which is not tailored to bring forth advantage then one will not benefit from advantage. One might at best be useful to someone - someone who does understand how to communicate to bring forth advantage - from time to time. One find that, as Marx would have it (roughy speaking), will find one’s labour is subjugated to the advanatge of another, more so than oneself.

Business communication is about marketing. There is no other advantageous purpose of business communication. The dominace of ‘speak’ and the ‘head set hotties’ are simple and inevitable consequences.

Whenever I need to use corporate copy, I always use this essential tool: http://dack.com/web/bullshit.html

+1 for Headset Hotties reference.

You will be disappointed by the actually “headset hottie” who answers the phone.

You production websites written by the developers will not be nearly as appealing as the corporate website.

If they are smiling at the screen, they must be waisting company time (watching youtube?).

I am the leading provider of first comment world-wide.

It is not “professionalism”. It is a very dangerous mind-set that is a mixture of “diversity”, what an industry thinks is the right way to act and talk, company self-importance, blah blah blah.

I’m not sure if this happens anywhere else other than in the software business. It is sickening.

I was in an interview once at Symantec, and in 20 minutes the manager must have said “in that space” at least a dozen times.

My favorite headset hottie comes from Despair, Inc, the makers of such fine demotivational posters as:

Bitterness: Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there’s nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams.


Give Up: At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.

The headset hottie on their Customer Disservice page is classic.

PS. The link is:

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Sweet $deity yes.

Thank you so much for the headsethotties URL. That made my day.

Right now there are 5 of us (black guy, white woman, asian transgender…) all standing around my computer looking at headsethotties.

Respond to Happy Talk and corporate PC professionalism with buzz-word bingo.

“Isn’t it possible that we might even grow more if we became braver?”

Yes it’s possible - but it’s also possible that the reverse is true and that in any given situation Sun et al get it right. It’s disingenuous and maybe even downright dangerous to advise that one way or the other is always right.

“It’s not professional” is the leading method of trying to win an argument by people who don’t know what they’re talking about…

I blogged about my worst experience a few months ago: http://www.zx81.org.uk/computing/opinion/professionalism.html