On Parenthood

Our son was born March 12th, 2009. He's a little over two and a half years old. Now, I am the wussiest wuss to ever wuss up the joint, so take everything I'm about to say with a grain of salt – but choosing to become a parent is the hardest thing I have ever done. By far. Everything else pales in comparison.

This is a companion discussion topic for the original blog entry at: http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/2011/10/on-parenthood.html
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Congrats to you and yours!

As a parent of teenagers (teaching your children to drive is a whole other level of terror), I’d have to say, it only gets better. Participating in the process of evolving your children into people is an amazing experience.

And I have for years pointed at grey hairs on my head and associated them with certain events involving my children: “This patch is when you learned to ride a bike, and these over here is you lost in a mall, and this up here is two weeks of chicken pox…”

Now that mine are all but grown, I have moments where I think “Dang it, I should have made more. These things are COOL.”

Plus, smart people need to have more babies. Good on you for getting on that and making some twins!


What a beautiful price of writing. Came for a tech post and ended up more moved than I’ve been in years. Good luck with the twins.

It’s difficult to explain children to people who don’t yet have children

Your venn diagram misses out those of us who have, consciously and deliberately, chosen not to have children.


I have two myself. And there are so many small, simple things that changes on the inside once you’re a parent. You never ever have the same non-reaction to sirens. Everytime I hear a siren, I wonder where it’s going.

You can distinguish the cry of your child anywhere, even if it’s noisy as hell :slight_smile:

But, it’s the best thing ever :slight_smile:


Congratulations and good luck with the “Double Trouble”!

So… you will have THREE kids??

Write while you can. By february this blog will be dead. :slight_smile:

Congratulation Jeff!

First of all congratulations!

Secondly, this should be marked as NSFW because I was about to burst into tears and what kind of manly man could do that in front of his colleagues?

Congrats Jeff! Sleep as much as you can till then!


Totally agree with everything you say. I’ve got two, one of each, the oldest is just a little older than yours. Raising the second goes faster, it seems. Our goal is three.

But twins?! Forget it! You’re not going to remember a thing for a year. 2012 will be lost to you. Sure you won’t mind though.

Congratulations, Jeff!

My son was born about 2 months after your son, and as it turns out, my next kid will arrive next year, too :slight_smile:

No twins, though. I hope :slight_smile:

Congratulations Jeff.

Had pretty much the same experience four years ago. We already had two boys and decided to go for another baby. I remember sitting down in the scan and seeing the image focus as the scan head moved in, and thinking “that sure looks like two skulls”. Bloody hard going for the first few months - if you thought you suffered sleep deprivation with your first, you’re going to be rapidly disillusioned - but things keep getting easier.


Congrats, I had twins about the same time you had rockhardawesome. I’m not going to lie. The first 6 months are going to suck. After that it’s all sugarbeans and sodie-pop. Twins are great because other than the poop and food they practically take care of each other. (and they really do make up their own language)

My advise for the first 6 months: 1) velcro swaddle blankets. 2) Lots of robo-swings. and most important 3) Keep them on the SAME SCHEDULE. If one easts then they both eat, when one sleeps, they both sleep. It’s boot camp. Don’t give in or you will never sleep EVER.

Have fun

I am a father. 2 times.

And your graph is the best I ever saw about being a parent. Not that I saw many many graphs on the subject before today, but still, it’s the best by far and I doubt anybody will produce a best graph in the years to come.

Not sure about the colors tho. :slight_smile:

Thanks for that lovely piece of writing. And congratulations for the 3-soon-to-be-5 of you.

p.s. Two video cards, two girls. Coincidence?

Big time congratulations. As a geek with a 5 year old all of your observations rang so true. When we decided to have children I originally wanted twins, as I figured we could get through all of the really hard parts upfront with two instead of spacing it out over a couple of years (who really wants to go through the sleepless nights thing… again…)

Now that I have the one though, that’s enough. Hats off to you brave sir!


No it doesn’t … you are just not there. Consciously and deliberately.

Congrats, Jeff!

Now that you have two threads within this spawned process, you need another rockhardawesome-like twitter account (or two). Time flies, so start the brainstorming now :slight_smile:

Weird, we called our son Henry, and I’ve been convinced that the next time we’re having twin girls.

I must have a psychic link to Jeff, it’s the only reasonable explanation.

Congrats! You great glutton for punishment.

Congratulations, that’s wonderful! We’ve got a six year old son and I can totally relate to your sentiments. There’s a line from an old greeting card,
“Children will keep you young…
but first they will make you old.”

Here’s to being young again!